THE PROBLEM WITH THE NIGERIAN WOMAN.

When I first joined Umu Anioma, I was not confident that I, as a woman would be able to make much meaningful contribution to the work being done Anioma people. I was born of Anioma parents, grew up in the Anioma area and know first hand how many of our men view women. However, my fears soon disappeared as I was welcomed to the forum and many members, mostly men wrote or called me privately to welcome and encourage me. I cannot forget Alister Chuka Smith, Jonathan Ojei, Tom Mbukanma and  Clemmie Nicholas,  Queenesther Nwaise just to mention a few.

It was peaceful and quiet for a while after I joined and I thought it was fantastic that we all got along and echoed each others contributions. That was not to last. What followed next was totally unexpected, not by Umu Anioma or Sunny Ofili. I do not intend to bore you with the details but suffice it to say that Sunny Ofili experienced the full weight of the unity amongst Umu Anioma. This oneness of mind and purpose has made us a formidable force to reckon with and for this, I am extremely proud of my Anioma brothers and the few sisters who have defied tradition to belong to an organisation flooded by men and still make their voices heard.

The woman is regarded as the fairer sex all over the world and Nigeria is not an exception. In Nigeria, raising children is mostly the duty of the woman who spends more time at home than the man. The way our children turn out are a reflection of the home in which they were raised. It is true that fathers are a great influence on the children too but primarily, women spend more time at home than their male counterparts. They focus and work hard at preparing their female children into a role that would define them as home makers. Not much else!  At home the female children, from an early age, endure serving their brothers both older and younger. They do so with smiles as it serves as a good practice for the life they have to live when they finally become wives.

This has now become a problem when it comes to nationhood, politics and many other spheres of life. The Nigerian woman has no other ambition other than to marry and settle down even if it means marrying someone she clearly knows does not love her. They think it is the only respectable and honourable thing to do. Now don’t get me wrong as I did exactly the same thing because I believe marriage is a good thing, respectable and honourable. A young lady who relocated to Nigeria observed that most Nigerian girls are not interested in relationships; they just want a wedding with whomever and at all cost. Not surprising at all, that’s what has been planted in their subconscious.

 Although I believe that a young woman should be fulfilled through matrimony, there are lapses and short-comings associated with the way we raise girls in our culture. The world is made up of various systems and institutions and not just that of marriage. The average Nigerian women are the least interested in politics. Many of them would say they are not interested in politics. You only have to look at some of their profiles on Facebook to confirm this. The tragedy of this stance is that they do not understand that everything in life is politics or that politics affect every sphere of our lives. I do not hesitate to add that most Nigerian women are politically naive and I am speaking from experience and that of others.

An Ada Anioma shared this link with me and it just brought back memories of what I went through in the hands of Nigerian women while campaigning in the last General election in the UK as a Councillorship candidate on the platform of the Conservatives Party. 


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12511765 


This naivety is not only rife amongst those who live in Nigeria but also, and more deplorable, amongst those in the diaspora. Our men were very supportive;  some of them joined in my campaign.

But not our women! They were up in arms, calling me names and threatening to teach me a lesson. Of course I was quick to remind them that I would press full charges if they as much as encroached on my personal space. My sin was being a woman like them and having the audacity to venture into politics, a territory reserved, in their own myopic opinion, to men only.

I can therefore imagine what Mrs. Sarah Jubril has gone through over these years in a society where some men, thankfully not all, view women as their subordinates and women look on the few women who dare to try, with ignominy. I am saddened at what is happening to Gbemisola Saraki. It only has to do with the fact that she is a woman and if I read our women correctly, they would lead the way in condemning her guts. “She should know her place”, some of them would be saying now. I opine that the problem with the Nigerian woman is the Nigerian woman.

I salute the courage of Umu Ada Anioma, Gloria orihu-Adagbon and Anthonia Oguah and more recently, Valerie Nnaife for their outspokenness and participation in the affairs of Umu Anioma. They have shown that they can hold their own and that being married is not a hindrance but a huge strength to draw from as they always participate and lead in discussions pertaining to the world in general, Nigeria and Anioma in particular.

Each day, we record an increase in the number of people joining Anioma Foundation, men and women alike. However, you really have to strain your ears to hear our women because they do not participate. The forum is open to all of us so I am calling on all my Anioma sisters to come alive, to become a vibrant part of the group. Our brothers are not complete without us. They need to hear our views too. We can no longer leave this task to our brothers alone. It is not enough to join and remain inactive. We need to hear more from our Sisters. This call also goes to the wider Nigerian women. We must all stand up and be counted in the task of nation-building. 

Until we become active participants, the Nigerian woman would remain the obstacle facing the Nigerian woman!