MATTERS ARISING - Lauretta Onochie

We are very quick to condemn people without knowing their backgrounds. Childhood experiences, shape what we later become in life, affecting us positively or negatively. 

Most of the leaders we have today, are products of child abuse, being made to feel inadequate in primary schools and beyond. They watched as their classmates were praised for coming top of their class as they come in the bottom. 

Then they develop LOW SELF-ESTEEM and become playground bullies because they have to "count for something". They wanted to show the "Smart Ones", that they have raw strength. 

Another point is childhood poverty. This is not about not having fat bank balances, big houses and cars. It's a mindset of not being contented with the little your parents were able to provide.

In reality, this traumatic experience can lead to social isolation due to lack of resources, such as toys, books, or opportunities for extracurricular activities. They are at a higher risk of psychological distress, including anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. 

Because they are permanently in fear of continuing in that state, they tend to grab, grab and grab. When they find their ways into public service, they are continually in need of "Making Their Point". It's always about them, their religions, their ethnic groups, their ways or no other way. They take, take and take. 

They are selfish, self-centered and egocentric. They are rigid. They are stiff. They are bent on their ways. 

Public funds belong to them. Laws are meant for others, because they are "above" the laws. They call it being "smart" or "clever", when they manipulate people to achieve for themselvesonly. They suffer from what my grandmother called "Acquiremania". They are never Satisfied. 

They have INFERIORITY COMPLEX which ensures that they are always competing with everyone in their circles to acquire mundane things, more than others. They must buy three cars to beat a friend who just bought one car.

They govern outside the rule of law and they openly boast that "Nothing Will Happen". And nothing happens because, many Nigerians grew up that way and do not see that lawlessness is an aberration. Consequently, they call it, "Political ingenuity", or "Political master stroke".

How do you explain a situation where people make rules for their own political parties but regularly goes to court to rule on issues in their parties. This is because of acts of impunity, lawlessness, high handedness and bullying innate in these people who "own" the political parties. 

It's always, "Do you know who I am? Look at this man that is not up to my driver. I can never drink whisky that is less than 40 years old. Am I your mate? Don't talk to me like that! Don't talk when I'm talking. Is it me you're talking to while sitting down? Etc. Etc." Constantly talking down on people.

Even in romantic relationships, they are dogmatic and stick to vulnerable partners who are not capable of having a say or an opinion in that relationship.

Counselling is fit and proper for all those who were traumatised in childhood, including our leaders and those who aspire to lead. That is, if they recognise that they have psychological issues. Till then, it's business as usual, and good luck, beloved nation.

God bless Nigeria.

Lauretta Onochie. 

@Laurestar.