LAURETTA ONOCHIE

Is Bello Turji part of a design to weaken the North, or merely a convenient footnote in a blueprint where insecurity doubles as a convininent excuse for resource capture? Welcome to Sarcastic Sunday. This week, with Mohammed Bello Doka, we examine Nigeria’s political gymnastics sarcastically, because approaching them soberly is a health hazard. Here, we laugh so we don’t suffocate. We mock so we don’t scream. We ask questions because silence, in this country, has become a security risk. We are constantly reminded—loudly, lovingly, and with evangelical zeal—that President Bola Tinubu is the architect of modern Nigeria. Architects, we are told, design order. They erect systems. They secure foundations. They enforce structural integrity. Which raises an awkward, impolite, but necessary question: since when do architects invite demolition crews to stakeholder meetings? Because somewhere between the speeches and the slogans, Bello Turji emerged not as an aberration, but as a recurring featu...

Gilbert Chagoury  On a hot afternoon in July 2004, Nigerian police officers waited beside a runway in the far northeastern corner of the country. The air shimmered above the tarmac. Somewhere beyond the horizon, a private jet was descending. The man inside it had not been home in years. His name had been spoken in whispers across courtrooms in Europe, inside Swiss banks, in the offices of investigators who believed that if they ever pulled this thread hard enough, an entire decade of theft would unravel. The jet touched down. Its wheels kissed Nigerian soil. Then, almost immediately, it lifted again. No handcuffs or need for explanations. Someone had tipped him off. Gilbert Chagoury disappeared into the sky. That image matters because it tells you everything about how power works in Nigeria. Power here does not work as an institution, or even as a constitution, but as a habit. Power here remembers its friends. Gilbert Chagoury was born in Lagos in 1946 to Lebanese immigrant parents...

Is Kaduna politics really settled—or is it merely quiet? If the El-Rufai–Ashiru alignment is a mirage, why the hurried denials? If power is secure, why the nervous need to mock what “does not exist”? And if yesterday’s kingmaker is truly finished, why does his shadow still decide tomorrow’s conversations? These are not academic questions. They cut to the bone of Kaduna’s unfinished 2023 story—and to the unease now visible in the reactions of Governor Uba Sani and his loudest defender, Shehu Sani. Power that feels safe does not shout this much. THE 2023 ELECTION KADUNA WANTS TO FORGET  The official story says 2023 is over. The electoral record says otherwise. In that election, the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) swept all three senatorial seats in Kaduna State. North, Central, South—every Senate seat went PDP. That is not a fluke. It is not an accident. It is evidence of statewide reach, voter mood, and organisational muscle. Yet, in the same cycle, the governorship stayed with the A...

Shettima and Tinubu   How does a sitting Vice-President become invisible in his own party? Who keeps removing his image from official programmes—and why does nobody correct it? At what point does silence become policy, omission become intention, and coincidence become design? And if power has already moved on, why does the Vice-President remain, smiling beside a door that is quietly being shut? These are not idle questions. They go to the heart of power, democracy, and institutional dignity in Nigeria today. What began as murmurs has hardened into a pattern: repeated APC programmes—national, zonal, and stakeholder meetings—centred on President Bola Tinubu increasingly carry no image of the Vice-President. Not once. Not twice. Repeatedly. In different regions. Over time. Without correction. Without apology. Without explanation. In Nigerian politics, visuals are not decorations. They are declarations. Posters, banners, backdrops, and stage designs are deliberate acts of messagin...

Lagos, Home Of Northern Gold  If the South, especially Lagos, has endlessly mocked the North as a parasite — living off oil and Lagos taxes — what does it mean now that President Bola Ahmed Tinubu’s government wants Northern gold to be refined in Lagos? Is the North only a parasite until its resources become useful? On January 18, 2026, the Northern Elders Forum (NEF) publicly blasted what it called the siting of a “National Gold Refinery” in Lagos, accusing the Federal Government of violating Nigeria’s constitutional principles of equity and federal balance. NEF pointed out that Nigeria’s commercially viable gold deposits are overwhelmingly in the North, yet value addition — the refinery — was suddenly in Lagos.  The government hastily responded that the refinery is not a federal project but a private initiative of a company called Kian Smith. Officials described NEF’s claim as false and misleading. But the harsh truth is that this back-and-forth exposes a deeper, structural ...

In October 1919, President Woodrow Wilson suffered a massive stroke that left him partially paralyzed and largely incapacitated for the remaining 17 months of his term. The cover-up, seclusion, impaired judgements and political consequences, haunted America for years. When a person of means or authority is terminally ill, destructive behaviours are not inevitable, but the risk increases if the illness is hidden, poorly managed, or accompanied by fear, denial, or cognitive decline. In such cases, harm usually comes through the misuse of power, not personal actions. I will limit this piece to political leaders in general. Common patterns include: 1. Authoritarian overreach Fear of losing control can drive a terminally ill leader into: Crackdowns on dissent, protests, and opposition parties Abuse of security agencies to intimidate critics Suspension or manipulation of democratic processes This is often rooted in paranoia, insecurity, or a desire to leave a “strongman” legacy.   2. Wea...

  NIGERIANS AND TINUBU’S SUFFOCATING, FORGED TAX POLICY Nigeria is groaning under an economic weight under the Pres. Tinubu dictatorship. At a time when citizens are battling inflation, unemployment, and the rising cost of basic survival, the Tinubu administration’s tax regime has become an additional noose—tightening around households, small businesses, and the productive middle class. Taxes, in a responsible democracy, are instruments for development. They are meant to be fair, consultative, lawful, and proportionate to citizens’ capacity to pay. What Nigerians are witnessing today, however, is a forged tax policy—one hurriedly assembled, aggressively enforced, and seemingly disconnected from economic realities on the ground. A Policy Without Compassion or Consent From multiple levies to increased tariffs and charges, Nigerians are confronted with taxes that appear neither debated nor democratically owned. The informal sector, which sustains millions, is harassed. Small and...

EFCC’s Open Defiance of Court Order, Continued Illegal Detention, and Media Trial of Abubakar Malami, SAN From: Office of Abubakar Malami, SAN Date: 23 December 2025 The Office of Abubakar Malami, SAN, former Attorney General of the Federation and Minister of Justice, issues this press release to formally alert the Nigerian public and the international community to the brazen, contemptuous, and lawless conduct of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) in its handling of matters concerning Mr. Malami. Following the clear and unequivocal court order granted by the High Court of the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja, on 23 December 2025, admitting Abubakar Malami, SAN, to bail on already fulfilled conditions, officials of the EFCC were formally served with the court process. Rather than comply with the authority of the court, the Commission refused to accept the court-backed letter, chased away the bailiff, and insisted on the continued detention of Mr. Malami in blatant defia...

The Office of the Former Attorney-General of the Federation and Minister of Justice, Abubakar Malami, SAN, issues this press release to formally address the ongoing detention, investigation, and threatened prosecution of Malami by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), which he categorically describes as a politically motivated witch-hunt precipitated by his recent defection to the African Democratic Congress (ADC). THE MOTIVE: HISTORICAL ANIMOSITY AND MALICIOUS PERSONAL VENDETTA  Malami states that the present actions of the EFCC are not borne out of law enforcement imperatives but are instead driven by deep-seated historical animosity and a malicious personal vendetta orchestrated by the EFCC Chairman. While serving as Attorney-General of the Federation, Malami recalls that the Federal Government constituted the Justice Ayo Salami Judicial Commission of Inquiry to investigate grave allegations of corruption and abuse of office within the EFCC. At the time, the curre...

  Opposition Leaders Raise Alarm over Threat Against Nigeria's Multi-Party Democracy. *Accuse Tinubu govt of plot to annihilate opposition *Demand independent review body to examine public accounts of federal, state, LGs from 2015 to 2025 *Propose embedding anti-graft operatives directly into government payment, expenditure processes at all levels PRESS STATEMENT Anti-Corruption, Not Anti-Opposition: A Joint Statement by Opposition Leaders on the Growing Politicisation of State Institutions for Persecution of the Opposition We are compelled by duty to nation and conscience to issue this statement to alert our compatriots and the international community to the unfortunate and gradual slide of our country into a state where key national institutions - particularly the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC); The Nigeria Police; The Independent Corrupt Practices and Other Related Offences Commission (ICPC) are increasingly perceived as tools of political intimidation, selectiv...

Prof. Michael Ogueke  The truth is, Trump no rate Tinubu at all. I doubt he thinks we have a president in Nigeria. Well, that's the international insult a country gets from electing mediocrity & tribal champion whose only sense of reasoning & preoccupation is how to remain in power to completely confiscate the country for himself & his tribal kinsmen & loot it out of the world map. Over two years now that Tinubu sacked all the Nigerian Ambassadors, he has not replaced them. Nigeria has no Ambassador in America nor anywhere else in the world to be invited by foreign governments for clarifications on issues of interests to them.  Nigeria has no Ambassador anywhere in the world to send to foreign governments to present Nigeria's positions on issues.  Nobody even know if we have a Foreign Affairs Minister let alone what his name is. Everything about Nigeria is run & controlled by Tinubu, his son - Seyi, Wike & Gbajabiamila.  And now, none of them ...

 "OPEN LETTER TO GOVERNOR FUBARA: YOU ARE PROHIBITED BY BOTH ECOWAS TREATY , NIGERIAN CONSTITUTION AND THE SoE LEGISLATION FROM ACCEPTING ANY HAND-OVER NOTES FROM THE SOLE ADMINISTRATOR: SOLE ADMINISTRATOR SHOULD HANDOVER TO PBAT AS WE AWAIT SUPREME COURT OF NIGERIA TO GRANT YOU AN EXTENSION OF TENURE AS WAS DONE IN THE CASE OF PETER OBI (2008)-RIVERS STATE TO BECOME AN OFF-CYCLE ELECTION STATE." By Dr. Tonye Clinton Jaja. Your Excellency, Governor Siminialayi Fubara, Sir, You are a very fortunate person unknowingly President Bola Ahmed Tinubu (PBAT) and the National Assembly has unwittingly granted you an extension of your tenure by their imposition of a six month suspension upon your good self. You are entitled to a six month extension because the said state of emergency that was imposed upon your good self did not satisfy the requirements of Section 305 of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, 1999 . This is because the pre-requisite essential requirement...